8/18/14
“Oh, good. I thought it was you,” said Buck. “I heard you arriving.”
His new girlfriend, as he considered her, didn’t answer aloud. She just fluttered her eyes and made a soft sound like a cooing dove.
“Whoo-ee!” he continued. “That full moon sure makes your skin look eerie, uh, iridescent. Well, like it’s glowing. I’m one lucky hombre it was my pasture you chose to stop in that first time.”
Again she didn’t speak. She just embraced him tightly. He felt the digits of her right arm tracing lightly down his spine. He gasped and tensed as she passed his belt and continued down the back of his jeans until with a firm grip she pulled his hips tightly against hers. He then felt her other arm moving upward and lightly tickling the back of his neck. An insistent pull brought his face close to her parting lips.
“Um, darlin’,” he said. “I like kissing and all. But this time could you not put your tongue so deep? It makes it hard to breathe.” Feeling her grip loosen he said, “Aw, now, don’t get offended.”
They suddenly broke their embrace and looked around as a strange noise came from the darkness.
Squoosh, squoosh, moo-oo. Squoosh, squoosh, moo-OO!
“It’s ok. It’s just a cow,” he said. “That reminds me. After you left last time I found something odd. Several of my cows were missing their hooves. Not their whole legs, mind you, just the hoof part. It’s real hard for them to walk now. And as you hear, it makes a funny sound, too.”
He paused, not knowing how to put the next question. She tensed and watched him intently.
“Um, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about it, would you?” he said at length. “Wait, wait! I wasn’t accusing.”
He chased after her as she moved quickly to her vehicle and started to enter it.
“Wait! I didn’t say you couldn’t have them. If you need hooves for some reason, I can get all you want. I was just surprised, is all.”
He reached for her nearest tentacle and stroked it. Slowly she slid back down the ramp and smiled.
“I know a slaughter house where I can get whatever parts you want. And by then the cow doesn’t mind.”
She smiled so big her long tongue lolled out.
“Tell you what. How about we try one of those deep kisses to make up? I reckon I can get used to it.”
Another of her arms shot out and curled completely around him. They then moved under a nearby tree and lay down. Presently there were moans of intense pleasure punctuated by an occasional gag.
As the cows from the field came to investigate, the slurping noises beneath the tree were joined by many more instances of squoosh, squoosh, moo!
Fortunately only the moon saw the cause of all the noise in the pasture that night.
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