Chapter 3: Sin & Forgiveness
DOORS
For myself, I like to use doors as visual symbols of how Sin separates my connection with God. Do you recall from cartoons or old spy shows the image of a series of large doors that have to be gone through to reach a destination? The hero succeeds in opening a large imposing door only to find another one behind it; and beyond that another one; then another one. In my mind I use this image to represent how my sins separate me from God.
Each door has the name of a type of sin written on it; and if I’ve committed that sin, the door is closed. If I’ve committed several sins, then several doors are closed. My task is to confess each of those sins; and as I do so, the doors open. Then at last the way between God and me is open, and I can communicate with Him clearly.
Early on in my experience, I could only succeed in opening the doors, but they were still hanging there waiting to drop closed at the next offense. Then as God gradually removed the desire for each type of sin, that particular door not only opened, it began fading away; till it was no longer hanging there like the Sword of Damocles. Once it was completely gone, then I knew that particular sin was no longer a problem for me.
It is not our job to overcome our sins through our own strength. It is God’s job to remove our sins from us. Our part is to cooperate with Him; to be willing for Him to remove the sins, and the desire for Sin, from us. As you know, there are sins that we really enjoy; and while part of us wants to get rid of them, another part of us really wants to keep doing them. This is why we can never overcome sins in our own strength.
So we tell God that we want to do His will, but we need His help. We then ask Him to take away our desire for the things we’ve identified. We then leave it up to Him. He’ll transform our hearts, and over the subsequent weeks and months we’ll see ourselves doing those things less and less. This IS progress. Don’t fret that there are still occurrences of sin; instead be glad there are fewer occurrences, and that your desires are gradually changing.
FORGIVENESS
Praying for and receiving forgiveness for our sins is, perhaps, the most important part of developing a close relationship with God and receiving the personal ministry of the HS. God is very willing to receive us and bless us. The only hindrance is the “wall of separation” built up of our sins. We need to tear down this wall, then we can have free communion with our Lord.
We read in Is 59:2, “Your sins have hid His face from you.” This does not mean that God turns His back on us because we’re bad. To the contrary, He wants to help us and He has done all He can to provide a way back. He even sacrificed His Son so that we may be restored to Him. The reason His face is hid from us is because our sins create a barrier between us and God that prevents us from having free communication. We must tear down that barrier, that wall. We do this by confessing everything we are doing that is contrary to His perfect will for us.
We begin by confessing all the obvious sins. Then once we’re sure these are taken care of, we begin a careful search of every aspect of our lives in order to find the problems that aren’t so readily apparent. You may use any model or system that you find helpful. Just be sure you are thorough, because it is easy to overlook sins we’ve become so comfortable with that we don’t consider them wrong anymore. Yet, if you leave anything at all unconfessed, you will not be able to receive the Holy Spirit to the degree that you would like.
For your convenience, I will mention three possible models from which you might choose.
* First, there is the one that some scholars call the “High Priest’s Prayer”. It involves focusing on all the possible ways one might sin with various parts of their body and soul — Eyes, Ears, Mouth, Hands (actions), Heart (feelings), and Mind (attitudes). For example, ways you might sin with your eyes are looking at things you shouldn’t; overlooking things you should do; failing to keep your focus on Jesus; etc. Follow the same idea for the other areas.
* Second, there are the “Seven Mortal Sins”. These are: Pride, Anger, Lust, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, and Sloth. Try to identify all the ways in which you indulge these sins in your interactions with God, with others, and even with yourself.
* Third, there are the “Ten Commandments”. These can be found in Exodus 20:3-17. As you go though them remember that your purpose is to identify hard to recognize sins; so be sure to use the broadest possible definition of each commandment that you can. For example, few of us have ever killed anyone; but this commandment also includes anger and hate, and being unforgiving of others. Likewise, the commandment to honor our parents includes being respectful to all rightful authorities over us — bosses, governing authorities, etc.
* (See further descriptions of these models at the end of this segment.)
As you go through any, or all, of these models, hopefully you will be prompted to remember the things that are keeping you separated from your Lord. Once you’ve confessed everything you can think of, you should receive a strong sense of peace from God. If you don’t receive this, you can be sure that there is still something remaining unaddressed; because God is very eager to have a relationship with you, and the only thing that prevents this is our sin. So keep searching until you gain that peace from Him that tells you, “Everything is now right between us.”
When praying for forgiveness it is important to identify every sin that is currently “active” in your life. “Active” sins refers to those things which are still influencing you in your present life, no matter how indirectly or infrequently.
It is not necessary to try to remember every single transgression going all the way back to childhood. A blanket confession for your past will work to remove most of your guiltiness. But there are a couple of clarifications needed here. Particularly big and egregious offenses need to be mentioned individually. Likewise, you must notice the type of sins you have committed repeatedly; because these are most likely still influencing you today.
For example, you don’t need to ask for specific forgiveness for a single occurrence of shoplifting a piece of candy back when you were seven years old. But, as you review your life, if you recall numerous instances of stealing, in many different forms and situations (taking supplies from work, not paying all your taxes, taking unfair advantage of someone in a weaker position, etc.), then you can know that this category of sin is something you need to confess and change.
Also please realize that there are some types of sin that are hard to recognize. These can be referred to as “hidden” sins. These may be sins from your past that you don’t recognize as active, yet they are indeed affecting you in the present. They aren’t gone; they’re just dormant.
One example of a hidden sin would be anger or hatred against someone who hurt you long ago (such as child abuse or being badly cheated). You don’t see this person anymore, so your feelings don’t come up often. However, on those occasions when you do think of this individual, feelings of anger and revenge are immediately roused, and are very strong. Because you don’t think of this person often, it is easy to overlook this problem. But although this is an event from the past, it is still active today, even if dormant most of the time, as indicated by the strong feelings aroused when you do think of this person. So it is something to be identified, confessed, and worked on for removal.
Another example of a hidden sin is racism. This is often hard to recognize because we don’t like to think of ourselves as being susceptible to this. We usually deny it. Yet if someone cuts you off in traffic, do you look at the other driver and think to yourself, “Of course. It’s one of them!” Or if you hear a particularly gruesome news item, do you think, “Why don’t we just kill all of those people and be done with them?” These are examples of racism. You may also have similar feelings in the areas of sexism, classism, ageism, and so on. Try to know the real you.
Still another example would be spending too much time with the TV and the Computer. Do you park in front of the TV at 5:30 and stay there until 11:00? What about the computer? I don’t mean the necessary use of it for work. But do you spend hours surfing the Web, browsing message boards, lurking in chat rooms, and checking out weird and interesting sites? These are dangerous signs. To check your level of addiction, try doing without them completely for a day or two; and see if you find yourself suffering withdrawal symptoms. You may be surprised.
Yet another example would be feeling a sexual attraction to someone to whom you’re not married, and indulging those feelings and fantasizing about them. The problem isn’t the fleeting thought as you pass someone; it’s the lingering over the ensuing fantasy and reveling in it as you mentally carry the resulting impulses on to their ultimate conclusion.
Once you get to the Sin that is your “hidden sin”, you will know; your conscience will jump, and you’ll get a strong sensation of, “Yes, that’s it!” When that happens, “Congratulations!” You are almost to the point of receiving the BHS. Just pray and tell God you’re willing to let go of your hidden sin, ask Him to take it from you, and you’re there. You may fear that it will take a long time; but actually once you’ve identified it and expressed a willingness to be free of it, God will work quickly to remove it from you. In my case, once I found my hidden sin, God took the feelings away instantly and I received the BHS while praying later that same evening.
FORGIVENESS VS. REPENTANCE
Another important aspect of obtaining forgiveness is understanding that there is a difference between “forgiveness” and “repentance”. As used in this discussion, “Forgiveness” is a decision and an act, made by us and by God, not to retain any further guilt against someone. “Repentance” is a feeling of remorse we get, in connection with forgiveness, that helps us resolve not to continue doing a particular action any longer.
Repentance may come immediately after Forgiveness, or it may not come for a couple of days or even weeks. But remember they’re different. You can confess and be forgiven without feeling repentance. Also know that when Repentance comes it doesn’t mean you haven’t been Forgiven: you have been since the time of your confession; but this is a different step. Repentance is to help us stop doing the wrong thing and to take from us even the desire to do that thing.
In other words, sometimes we feel bad about what we’ve done even though we’ve already asked for forgiveness. That feeling doesn’t mean God hasn’t forgiven us. This is very important to understand. We’re told in 1Jn 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins.” This is a promise from God that He will forgive; and the only condition is to confess. He doesn’t say that first you have to jump through a bunch of hoops, then wait awhile showing your sorrow, and after that maybe He’ll forgive you. He says just confess it and He’ll forgive it.
What confuses us is that many times we continue to feel bad even after praying for forgiveness. This feeling can be from either of three reasons: it may be from a feeling of repentance; or it may be that you haven’t forgiven yourself; or it may be a demon trying to make you doubt God’s promise. Don’t construe any of these to mean that God hasn’t forgiven you. Once you’ve met the condition of confessing, you’re forgiven. So if you continue to have a problem feeling forgiven, then check these three reasons.
We’re all familiar with the situation where we want to stop doing something but we keep doing it anyway. Repentance helps us with this. Once the HS pushes us to where we are very remorseful about an action, having strong feelings against it help us resolve to stop, then we can finally see progress that we’re changing.
Finally, once you’ve received forgiveness for everything in your past, you will then desire to not let your sins build up anymore. You will want to seek forgiveness as soon as you find yourself transgressing against your Father’s will. A couple of things to stay aware of are first, in your dealings with others, whenever someone offends you, strive to feel forgiveness toward them as quickly as possible. Don’t let the negative feelings fester and build up. Second, when you feel a repeated temptation for a certain sin or type of sin, look for something unrepented from the past; things unrepented are still active, and will resonate within us whenever a temptation for it comes.
We ask God to forgive us, and once He has accepted our prayer we receive a strong feeling of Peace. Forgiveness brings Peace, and receiving Peace is the first step in beginning Communion with God. Where there is peace, there is God; and where there is no peace, God is not there.
We tend to diminish the sinfulness of our lives and think we’re not so bad. This is because we limit our definition of sin to just breaking the 10Cs; but although this is included, sin is much more than that. In short, anything less than a life constantly connected with God is sin.
Many people have preconceived ideas about God and Forgiveness. One of the common thoughts is that in addition to confessing our sins we must also perform some kind of penance or suffer some kind of punishment. 1Jn 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive our sins.” There is no condition beyond confession; that is, admitting what we’ve done and apologizing for it. God requires nothing else from us to give us forgiveness.
When God forgives:
He removes all record of our sins and remembers them no more.
He restores to us all our rights as children in His house.
He takes away not only the sin but also the punishment and the consequences.
He forgives us for His own sake; our unconfessed sins cause Him pain, but forgiving us removes His pain. (An expanded explanation is given at the end of this segment.)
When you confess your sins, keep Jesus in mind — consider what your sins have done to Him and to your relationship with Him. He has suffered a great deal in order to pay the price for your sins; try to comprehend just how much sin hurts Him.
Sometimes people think that this process sounds too easy. If we can just ask Jesus to take away the results of our sins, then we’ll think there’s nothing to it and will increase our sinning rather than decreasing it. But this isn’t the case. When you’re asking for forgiveness, imagine Jesus on the cross suffering because of what you’ve done. When you’re asking the Father to take away from you the consequences of your actions, just realize that you’re asking that they be put on Jesus to increase what He has to pay. Then you’ll better understand what’s happening. When Jesus takes the consequences for our sin, if we think about what that really means, we don’t consider it to be either cheap or easy. In fact, once our love for Jesus grows enough, then bowing before the Heavenly Father and asking Him to punish Jesus instead of us for the things we’ve done can be even harder than the thought of accepting for ourselves the punishment we deserve.
FORGIVENESS PRAYER MODELS : Expanded
High Priest’s Prayer:
As you consider each area, think of all the ways they can be compromised:
EYES: Looking at what you shouldn’t; i.e.: certain TV shows, movies, books, magazines, pictures, computer images, events, activities. Overlooking what you should see; i.e.: ignoring people in need, being silent about people doing wrong, neglecting ways to get closer to God. Using looks, expressions, and facial gestures to promote things that are untrue or impure: winks, glares, leers, etc. Failing to keep your focus on Jesus.
EARS: Listening to things you shouldn’t: i.e.: dirty jokes or stories, gossip, or lies about others. Neglecting what you should hear; “whatsoever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, or virtuous”. Failing to listen to the Holy Spirit, through your conscience, the Bible, or spiritual people.
MOUTH: Speaking things we shouldn’t; i.e.: dirty jokes or stories, gossip, lies, and things hurtful. Indulging an improper appetite; i.e.: overeating; unhealthful eating; consuming alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.
HANDS (actions): Any actions that are sinful, unholy, or damaging to anyone (God, others, ourselves); (think: WWJD?) Neglecting acts that should be done.
HEART (feelings): Holding negative, hateful, or sinful feelings; i.e.: revenge, unforgiveness (feeling unforgiven, being unforgiving), impure desires, covetousness, boastfulness. Not cultivating the positive feelings that we know we should have.
MIND (thoughts): Holding wrong attitudes; i.e.: racism, sexism, classism, other bigotry; feelings of superiority or inferiority. Indulging unchristlike thoughts; “take captive every thought and make them subject to Christ”. Letting doubts take root by lingering over them: this weakens our faith. (What the HS tells us is possible, our logic sometimes tells us is impossible.)
Seven Mortal Sins:
As you consider each vice, realize that the definitions also include the following:
PRIDE: Thinking oneself to be more important than others, and deserving of a better life than others. Thinking one’s own views are the only correct way. Holding a false humility; i.e.: thinking you’re the worst of the worst, you’re not important, etc. Thinking no one else is as humble and holy as you.
ANGER: Feelings of hate, revenge, etc. Being unforgiving of anyone (others, yourself, God). Speaking hateful or hurtful words (lies, gossip, slander).
LUST: Indulging physical/carnal desires in any form; sex, physical pleasure, appetite, self-serving, etc. Indulging just mentally, even though you never follow through, is also a sin.
ENVY: Coveting the things that others have; possessions, position, money, influence, spouses, children. Scheming to take from others what is theirs; or if nothing else, trying to cause them to lose what they have so that they too have nothing.
GREED: Desiring more than God has appointed to you. (God wishes for you to have a lot; but in His time and in His way.) Taking unfair advantage of others; particularly when you’re in a position of strength and they’re in a position of weakness. (There must be equal value given for value received.)
GLUTTONY: Taking into the body anything unhealthful for it; overeating, improper eating, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, tattoos, piercings, certain elective surgeries.
SLOTH: Failing to live up to one’s potential. Neglecting needed actions. Wasting time on entertainments (TV, movies, computer games, spectator sports). Not doing all you can to help yourself, help God, and help others.
10 Commandments Sins:
As you consider each Commandment, realize that besides what is specifically stated they also include the following areas:
1) Have no other Gods. Pride; selfishness; love of money; status; power;
2) Have no idols. House; car; TV; computer;
3) Don’t take His name in vain. Cursing/swearing/bad language; claiming the name of
Christian but not behaving as Christ did;
4) Keep Sabbath holy. Pursuing worldly interests; excessive sleeping; seeking entertainment;
catching up on chores; not using this time to improve your relationship with God;
5) Honor parents. Doing things shameful to your family’s name; disrespecting rightful
authorities over you — family, church, gov’t, bosses, etc; dishonoring your
“heavenly Father”;
6) Don’t kill. Hating others; holding grudges; being vindictive; being unforgiving; speaking
badly to or about others, thus killing their spirit or making their life harder;
7) No adultery. Looking at things inappropriate; listening to wrong things; indulging fantasies;
8) Don’t steal. Cheating on taxes; taking supplies from work; wasting time at work; taking
unfair advantage of others; not paying an honest Tithe;
9) Don’t lie. Misrepresenting the truth by any method — directly, indirectly, etc; not being
perfectly honest in every word and deed; (if you can’t be truthful, then be silent);
10) Don’t covet. Trying to get more than God has approved for you; (if you desire something
more, ask God for approval); looking at others and what they have, rather than
looking only to God;
WHEN GOD FORGIVES (Expanded):
Let us examine each of these points a bit further.
* He removes all record of our sins and remembers them no more. Mi 7:19, “He will have compassion on us, He will subdue our iniquities, and will cast all our sins into the depth of the sea.” When we “forgive” someone who has greatly offended us we may do our best to get over it; but whenever we see that person again we remember what they did, it affects our attitude toward them ever after, and if they again offend us, then in addition to the new hard feelings we bring back up the old feelings that we once said we forgave. So since we ourselves do this, we think that God acts the same way: but He doesn’t. Once He has forgiven us He keeps no record of our past sin, He doesn’t change how He treats us, and He doesn’t bring the old sins back up when we sin again. Any problem we have is with our own feelings, not with His. We may think He hasn’t forgiven us because we’re still feeling guilty; but He has. We may think that once we sin again all the old stuff comes back; but it doesn’t. Don’t look to your own way of forgiving to understand God’s way; instead look to His word to see how He tells us He forgives.
* He restores to us all our rights as children in His house. Ro 8:14, “As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” When mankind entered into sin our relationship with our Heavenly Father was damaged. He wanted so much to restore that relationship that He sacrificed His Son Jesus in order to help us come back to Him. Understanding this, why would we ever think that He is reluctant to accept us? He has done all He can to provide a way; and He’s just waiting for us to accept it. Once we do He is eager to restore us to the relationship with Him that there once was. By accepting His plan we return to the status mankind once had — sons and daughters of God.
* He takes away not only our sin but also the punishment. Is 53:5, “He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon Him, and with His stripes we are healed.” Scripture tells us that Jesus bore for us not only the guilt for our sins but also bore the consequences. If He only needed to pay the penalty of guilt, all He would have had to do was die in our place; it could have been done peacefully. But beyond this He was also tortured to take upon Himself the consequences of our sins as well. He bore our stripes so we wouldn’t have to. Through His blood we receive forgiveness; through His stripes we receive healing. So when we ask Him to forgive us, we should also ask Him to take the consequences of our sins as well. As you do so, consider that you are asking Him to take the beating you’ve earned. This will make your love for Him grow stronger, and will also help you stop doing that sin. But understand that just as you have to accept that He has forgiven you, you likewise have to accept that He is removing the consequences. Otherwise the Enemy will try to cause us to bear the results of our acts even though Jesus can take them away. But understanding and accepting this may be difficult for us at first.
* He forgives us for His own sake; our sins cause Him pain. Is 43:25, “I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for Mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.” Just as earthly parents are heartbroken when they see a beloved child doing something self-destructive, God likewise is pained in His heart when we engage in sinful behavior. When we make even a slight effort to turn from sin and come back to God, He is quick to forgive us. This is not only to help us come back, but also to relieve some of the suffering He is feeling as well. Once He forgives us He can erase even the record of that sin, and thus He no longer has to agonize any further as a result of that particular transgression. Sure there are a whole lot more things to be worked on; but at least the total mass of sin has been reduced just a bit.
SOURCES OF GUILT
When we’ve sinned we often feel a sense of guilt. We know that what we’ve done was wrong. We usually attribute this to our conscience; or if we’re religious, to God rebuking us. However, we must be aware that there are two sources of guilty feelings — God and Satan. Yes, the Holy Spirit brings a sense of conviction when we sin. But His aim is to prompt us to repent. Satan also can bring a feeling of condemnation. But his goal is to bring a sense of despair.
When the Holy Spirit makes us aware of our sins, He also lets us know that we can be forgiven and reconciled to God if we will only ask. When Satan makes us aware that we’ve broken God’s Law, he tries to make us feel that we’re too bad and too far gone to ever live up to God’s expectations. When you’re feeling a sense of guilt, look to see what other feelings there are along with it. If you feel strong sorrow yet also know that there is hope, then this conviction is from the Holy Spirit. If you feel that your condition is hopeless and have a strong sense of dread and continuing guilt, then this condemnation is from Satan. Remember the Holy Spirit is known as “the Comforter”, while Satan is known as “the Accuser”.
So if you find the Holy Spirit working with you to bring repentance, thank Him for helping you and work with Him to correct your ways. But if you find it’s Satan trying to discourage you, rebuke him and order him away. Declare to him that you know you have been forgiven for the things he’s bringing back to your mind, and you won’t be deceived into retaining the guilt that Jesus has already cleansed. Don’t fall for the Enemy’s tricks to bring you to despair. Reject him.
SINFUL IMPRINTS
When we ask for and receive forgiveness for identified transgressions, at some point afterward we usually feel a strong sense of remorse for that sin. This repentance helps us in that it prompts us to resolve not to do that act anymore. Thus we begin the process of being freed from bondage to that particular sin.
However, when we ask for forgiveness for unidentified transgressions, such as in the prayer, “Please forgive me for anything I’ve done wrong …”, and don’t specifically acknowledge any particular types of sin, we may receive forgiveness for the guilt from all the sins covered by that prayer, but we don’t receive any specific repentance as a result and so there is no resolve to quit those offensive actions, and thus no freedom from slavery to those actions. In other words, although the “guilt” for those sins is gone, the “imprint” of those sins remains within us; and as soon as temptation comes again, it will find a sympathetic spot within us that resonates and responds to the temptation; and so we find ourselves powerless to resist and thus fall into the same old sins again.
To be freed from this slavery, to remove from within us the imprint of sin, we must specifically name the type of sin to which we succumb, and ask for a sense of remorse sufficiently strong to break the hold which that sin has on us. In this way can we be truly freed from slavery to sin.
After going through the process of confession and repentance, identifying everything that can be remembered, if you still find yourself continuing to succumb to temptation for a certain type of sin, search for something still unrepented. Unrepented sins remain active within us and will resonate within us when temptation comes. We don’t always make the connection between the unrepented sin from the past and the way it’s affecting us in the present. So you may need to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the underlying cause for an ongoing weakness. If you really want to know, He will reveal it to you. Then trust Him that what He reveals is important to repent, so renounce it. This will work to remove your remaining problems.
SEWAGE
I’d like to talk for a bit about the Sinfulness of Sin. What happens when you flush your toilet? Where does all that stuff go? In bigger cities they typically have a processing plant; but in smaller towns they sometimes make use of a “sewage pond”. This is a pond where all the toilet water goes, along with everything in it. It’s full of human dirt, bits of tissue and other paper products, and gobs of sludge. Not a pretty picture!
Imagine you are walking along a nature trail just outside a small town. You turn a corner and there in front of you is a large sewage pond. You are disgusted by the sight, and as the smell hits you, you almost vomit. You quickly turn to get out of there; but then you hear something. It sounds like someone calling for help.
You hold your nose and look back, then you see someone in the middle of the pond up to their neck, and they’re drowning. You pause and wonder how they got there, when you notice it’s someone you know. You look harder, it’s someone you love, really love a lot! What do you do?
You don’t even want to stand near the sewage pond; how can you possibly go in it? But this is someone you really love! So you jump in, swim out to them and pull them back to shore. You’re covered from head to toe with filth, but your loved one is now safe.
I realize this example is not a perfect simile’. But perhaps it can help illustrate a concept or two. When God looks at sin He is disgusted by it. It pains Him just to be in its presence. He would like to remove it from His universe as quickly as possible. But there’s a problem — someone He dearly loves is dying in the middle of it. So He goes right in and tries to save us, even though He’s being soiled in the process.
Once we become Christians and are no longer drowning in sin, we still often have a problem. We give up what we consider “big” sins, but we try to justify holding onto our favorite “little” sins because we like them. Now imagine coming upon your loved one sitting just inside the edge of the sewage pond splashing around like he’s in a wading pool. You ask with shock, “What are you doing!?” And he says, “What? It’s not that bad. I’m not as far out as other people; I’m just on the edge.” You think to yourself, “It doesn’t matter if you’re only in the shallow end of the pool; you’re still filthy! Get out of there!”
Please realize that sin is extremely offensive to God. We have become so desensitized to the true nature of sin that we don’t appreciate just how much it affects God. He would like to destroy it immediately. We also don’t appreciate just how much God loves us. Despite the revolting condition we’re in, He is willing to stand it in order to remove us from the filth; if only we will let Him. He loves us so much that He sent His Son into the sewage pond to rescue us and carry us out. You’re feeling disgusted just by reading this little simile’. Imagine how God feels: He sees the reality.
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